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Quitting Resources Quitnet Why Quit Smoking is Ugly
Do you need motivation to quit? Read this true story!!
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| Sunny Day |
| 02.29.04 (8:47 am) |
We're getting a taste of spring this weekend. I'm in such a good mood. Spring's my favorite season. I mean really, how can you not feel good in spring? I love driving around to see all the pretty trees that bloom pink and white. I get so excited when I see the tulips start to grow. I love the smell of fresh mown grass. But my favorite is that smell of the first rain. It's almost here!!
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| Kidless |
| 02.28.04 (3:21 pm) |
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I am childless tonight. Andre is spending the night with his friends. WooHoo!! I'm feeling a little better than yesterday. Roscoe and I had it out last night. Real bad. But, we made up. We'll just take things from here. We might go out for drinks and appetizers around 9 tonight. I'd almost rather stay home and have a few drinks here. I'm getting old. I remember a time when I used to have to be doing something every weekend. Now I'd rather stay in and watch the Discovery Channel. Funny how that happens.
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| Stressed |
| 02.27.04 (11:26 am) |
I am so stressed today. I hate this. Sometimes I feel like I'm getting pulled in a zillion directions. I have a lot of work to do at the office this weekend. My mom keeps asking me to help her tonight in dealing with my nephew, I'm supposed to go visit my dad today, my apartment is a mess, I've not been doing my exercises.
I just feel that "butterfly" feeling in the pit of my stomach all the time. I don't know where to begin.
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| Nothing is Done |
| 02.26.04 (5:56 pm) |
Roscoe is sick so I couldn't go to the office and get some work done when he came home. That means I have to go all day tomorrow. Also, I'll be sleeping on the couch. I can not sleep in the same bed with a sick person. Plus he snores so freakin' loud. It's always a race for me to fall asleep before him. If I don't, I end up kicking him all night. :twisted:
Andre has been in a great mood lately. We played Mario Kart Double Dash and he beat me. He's such a good kid, I'm lucky.
I did laundry today, cleaned some more, watched Friends and am about to watch The Apprentice. Boring, I know. My mom wants me to help her shop tomorrow for my nephew. She's getting him for the weekend and I told her that she needs to have some kind of game system for him to play with. She lives out in the country so there aren't any other kids around and it can get really boring for a 13 year old. So, I'm taking her out and helping her get an X Box. I'll get to see my nephew too. Although I have very mixed feelings about him being around Andre. My nephew smokes (yes, at 13) and he beats up Andre for no reason. It's just that he's never had any real guidance in his life and he acts out. I love him, but I don't want that around Andre. It's very hard.
Gotta go get Andre's bath ready.
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| Who would have thought? |
| 02.25.04 (6:33 pm) |
Who would have thought it would be so difficult to buy a calculator for a 5th grader to do his homework? My son (Andre) is 10 years old and in the 5th grade. After school today, he started doing his math homework and asked if I had a calculator he could use. (He is allowed to use a calculator for this section of math.) I have a scientific calculator that I used in college. The damn thing cost over $100. Wouldn't you know, it didn't do the one function he needed it to do. He needed one that would show the quotient and remainder, as opposed to putting the answer as a decimal. For example. His first problem was 82 divided by 40. Sure, do it in your head and it's 2 R2. But do it on a calculator and its 2.05. So, off to Walmart we went in search of a calculator. We looked and looked. We even had the sales guy helping us. Finally, I found it. It's a second function, above the division sign that says "INT". Who knew? When I was a kid, it was easy to buy a calculator. All they did was basic math. We had to figure out the remainders on our own.
Speaking of Andre, he does the cutest thing. Or quirkiest maybe. On the way home from his school, we always pass this ugly blue house. It's not just a pretty light blue, it's like gawdy teal. Then about a block later, we pass this run down house but it's huge. About every third time I pick him up, he makes the exact same comments...without fail..."That's an ugly house. Who would want to paint their house that color?" Then as we approach the big house..."I like that house. It's big. I want it. Can we buy it?" Never fails. Exact same words. It's so cute. He does that with movies too. Like my Disney movies. We watch certain ones over and over and everytime he will make the same comments about the movie, ask the same questions...That's going to be one of those things I'm really going to miss when he's too cool to hang out with me. I love him!!
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| I'm Bored!! |
| 02.25.04 (6:01 am) |
I know that I should be cleaning up the mess I made last night. I started cleaning a bunch of clutter and it seems like I made a bigger mess. My husband thinks I should get checked for ADD. He has it. We found out 3 years ago. He's on Concerta. He asked me to take one of his Concerta's just to see and I have to say it made a huge difference. I got a lot done. I just took another one. I'm not sure if it's because I actually have ADD or if it's the stimulant in it, but I like it.
I went to Walmart last night and bought one of those tupperware drawer things. It has 3 drawers in it. I also bought one of those little tikes organizer things for my pens. Now I'm on this organizing kick. I'm such a freak. I love buying stuff like that. I get excited about cleaning and organizing. Of course to look at my front room right now, you wouldn't know it. I have 2 trash bags full of stuff that has somehow collected on my desk over the past few months. I have to clean when my son and husband are gone because they are pack rats. If they're not here, I can throw stuff away and they'll never know the difference. But if they are here and see what I'm tossing out, they freak and suddenly those things are so important to them. I told my son and his friend yesterday that I was spring cleaning. They said "But it's not spring." I said "I know, it's called wishful thinking."
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4 Comments
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| It's too early to think of a subject. |
| 02.25.04 (4:43 am) |
I had a panic attack last night. I haven't had one of those for a long time. Just out of the blue, while I was trying to fall asleep...WHAM. It just hit me. I quit taking anti-depressants because of the weight gain. I'm not going to start taking them again. But I'm not sure how to control the anxiety.
There's been a lot of talk on here about gay marriages. I'm not going to get in to it, but I will say that if gays want to marry, let them. I, personally, do not see a problem with that. Gay people are human. They have feelings, they can love.
I got some good news yesterday. My dad's fiance is cancer free. She had breast cancer. (Ironically, right after my mom went through it.) She had the lump removed, then some lymph nodes were tested and the cancer did not spread. That's the same thing that happened to my mom. My mom is in her 5th week of her 6 week radiation treatments. We were all very fortunate it turned out this way for my mom and my dad's fiance.
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| Which Friend Are You? |
| 02.24.04 (7:49 am) |
Monica
Mon! You're the normal one, honey, in the best way possible. You're caring, you're responsible, you look to the future—what a gem. Wait a second, did you just start editing for grammar mistakes in the middle of reading your own compliments? Ok, so you like things, well, the way you like them. But even when you're smiling through clenched teeth, waiting for everyone else to get with the program, deep down, you're really still smiling. You're just waiting for that impatient moment to pass.
When it comes right down to it, you are thoughtful, meticulous, and good at what you do. As for romance, you can be a little picky and want things to be just-so. We wouldn't expect anything less. And like the original Monica, if you can avoid rushing into things, you'll find the right match and all the happiness your sweet, finicky, heart deserves.
Friend Quiz Here
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What is your color?
Blue
You're blue — the most soothing shade of the spectrum. The color of a clear summer sky or a deep, reflective ocean, blue has traditionally symbolized trust, solitude, and loyalty. Most likely a thoughtful person who values spending some time on your own, you'd rather connect deeply with a few people than have a bunch of slight acquaintances. Luckily, making close friends isn't that hard, since people are naturally attracted to you — they're soothed by your calming presence. Cool and collected, you rarely overreact. Instead, you think things through before coming to a decision. That level-headed, thoughtful approach to life is patently blue — and patently you!
Color Quiz Here
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| Good Start |
| 02.23.04 (10:10 am) |
I did it. I got my lazy butt off the chair and got on the treadmill. My goal is to do three 30 minute cardio, two 20 minute strentgh and stretch, and two 15 minute ab workouts a week. I did my 30 minutes on the treadmill and I discovered how out of shape I really am. A few years ago I used to get on the treadmill everynight for 45 minutes and walk just over 3 miles. Well, today I got on for 30 minutes and only walked 1.22 miles. I had to force myself to finish. I can't believe how out of shape I've become. But, at least now I'm doing something about it.
My motivation? Ha I found a picture of me in a 2 piece bathing suit a few years ago when my tummy was nice and flat, and a picture of me in a two piece last September with my belly hanging out and flab coming out the sides of my suit. I scanned them, put them side by side and printed that. That's enough to get my butt in motion!!
Mon. 30 minute cardio Tues. 20 minute yoga Wed. 15 minute abs Thurs. 30 minute cardio Fri. 20 minute yoga Sat. 15 minute abs Sun. 30 minute cardio
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| Again... |
| 02.22.04 (6:57 pm) |
Damn it. I was all worked up and excited, just typing a mile a minute and I hit the wrong button and I lost everything. Ever do that?
Anyway, I'll try this again. I think I have found the motivation. I think I can do this. I want to lose 25 pounds by the first of June. That's 2 pounds a week. Now, I've never dieted before so I don't know...Is that doable?
Here's the plan. I'm going to eat half sized portions. And I'm going to stick with this exercise challenge I've signed up for. That is three 30 minute cardio workouts a week, two 20 minute stretch and strengthen a week and two 15 minute ab workouts a week. That sounds very doable to me. But, will the weight come off?
I got some tulips the other day because they are my favorite flower. Red and white tulips. They are only available for a small time each year and I miss them the rest of the year. So, I got out my camera and snapped some pictures. I put a blue background behind them because blue is my favorite color, plus I really like the contrast. Here is one that I actually printed and framed. What do you think?
Picture moved to My Photo Blog
I also want to add (brag) that I took that picture of the lightning in the header. I took it last June.
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| Motivation |
| 02.22.04 (12:59 pm) |
How do I even begin to get motivated? I'm so tired of looking at my apartment. Roscoe buys and sells collectables on ebay so there is tons of crap all over the place. Andre is a pack rat and leaves his crap everywhere. It seems like I'm the only one who isn't afraid to throw things away. I'm so sick of it, yet I don't have the motivation to do anything about it because as soon as I do, either Roscoe or Andre will mess it all up again.
I am so sick of my weight. I want to lose 25 pounds by June. I don't know how to lose weight. There are so many diets, exercise programs and pills that I don't know what works and what doesn't. So, how do you lose weight? I don't eat meat, I don't eat a lot of junk food. Hell, I don't eat much at all. But then again, I don't exercise either. I just can't find the motivation.
Where does motivation come from? Yes, I know, it comes from within. You find it in yourself. But where? How? How sick of this do I have to get before I'm motivated to do something about it?
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| Extended Family |
| 02.21.04 (7:15 pm) |
What a day. OK. Yes, I'm obsessive-compulsive. I spent 4 1/2 hours scrubbing and mopping my diningroom floor. No, it's not that big, I just wanted it clean. Once I start to clean something, I go all out. I know, it's obsessive, but I can't help it. Anyway. After scrubbing the floor, I brought Andre to his biological grandma's house. When my husband adopted Andre, Andre's biological dad's mom was really upset because she was a huge part of his life the first 3 years. So I promised her that she would always be a part of his life. So, even though Mike (the biological contributor as my husband calls him) is not allowed to see Andre until he is 18, I let his mom, step-dad and sister see him. Every year for Christmas I make his grandma a scrapbook of pictures from that year. So much has been going on that I haven't had time to give it to her until today.
She was so happy to see him. The last time she saw him was last March, for his birthday. I feel so bad. I need to get him over there more often. They're good hearted people. I think it's good for Andre to know that side of his family.
Well, I'm still working on my "100 Things". That's not easy to do. I'm also still going to tell my life story. I think it will be theraputic. I've talked about the stuff I've been through before. Ha, my husband says that I tell my story as if it was a special I saw on t.v. Without much emotion. He doesn't understand how I can talk about it like that, but honestly it's just normal life to me. I really never knew any different. I haven't brought it up for a long time. But I think it's important because it all helped make me who I am now. I'll work in it, I promise.
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| 100 Things |
| 02.20.04 (4:58 am) |
1. I was born in June which makes me a cancer. 2. That's a water sign and I'm drawn to the water. 3. I am married. 4. I have a son. 5. My husband adopted my son. 6. My husband is my best friend. 7. I have a degree in forensic science. 8. I am an orthodontist assistent. 9. Madonna is my idol. 10. I collect Disney stuff. 11. I love to travel. 12. My favorite color is blue. 13. I love my cats. 14. I was born with crooked pinkies. 15. I had my right pinkie straightened when I was 16. 16. I can't afford to get my other one straightened right now. 17. I have freckles. 18. I hate my freckles. 19. I was teased in jr. high school. 20. I dropped out of school when I got pregnant. 21. I went to college. 22. I graduated with honors. 23. I wish I lived near the ocean. 24. I collect sea shells and coral. 25. I'm a perfectionist. 26. I love taking photographs. 27. I love to scrapbook. 28. I've been told I'm a passionate person. 29. I have self esteem issues. 30. I'm trying to overcome them. 31. I used to take antidepressants. 32. I quit taking them because I gained 25 pounds from it. 33. I'm obsessed with my weight now. 34. I smoke. 35. I want to quit. 36. I'm terrified of spiders. 37. I'm terrified of flying. 38. I have to take anxiety pills to fly. 39. I don't eat meat. 40. Not even sea food. 41. I love red and white tulips. 42. I love spring and summer. 43. I hate fall and winter. 44. I strongly believe what goes around, comes around. 45. I have had sex in an airplane. 46. I like to brag about that. 47. I love yoga. 48. I haven't done it for a long time. 49. I don't speak to my sister. 50. She sells drugs. 51. I've decided to go back to school, again. 52. I'm going to take Digital Media Design. 53. I'm addicted to building websites.
I'll add more later.
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| Honored |
| 02.19.04 (10:30 am) |
After reading an entry in ceeceesun's blog Pleasantly Demure, I left a comment. I just went back to read her blog (it's one that I check everyday) and she had posted an entire entry inspired by a comment I left. The entry is worth reading. It's very inspiring. For that, she has in turn inspired me to do the same. To share my hard ships. I have a pretty colorful past, so it may take more than one post, but nonetheless, I want to do it.
Thanks ceeceesun.
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| Hectic Day |
| 02.18.04 (6:36 pm) |
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I remember putting in here yesterday that I hoped today would be slow at work. Ha. It was so busy at work. Everyone was tense. I like to stay nuetral at work, so I don't point fingers and bitch too much. But man oh man, the girls at the office were bitching up a storm today. It seemed like everyone was ticked about something or someone. I hate that. It's hard to work when there's so much tension. It seemed to cool off later in the afternoon. Roscoe came into the office, that always makes my day better. I think I'm going to go to bed early tonight, I'm so tired. I was on my feet for almost 10 hours. You would think as much as I'm on my feet running around at work, I would lose weight. But that would be too easy, wouldn't it.
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| Tuesday/My Monday |
| 02.17.04 (6:18 pm) |
Tuesdays are usually my Mondays since I only work 2-3 days a week. Tomorrow is my Friday. Then I'm off for a week. Thank god. One girl called off for today and tomorrow because she had a miscarriage. We all knew she would. I'm sorry, I like her, but it seems like she is always calling off for something. Her blood sugar, her kids are sick, she has cancer on her hand...Ask different people at work and they'll tell you different things. She's not consistent with what she tells people. I think she wants attention. Or maybe she's just a hypocondriac. Luckily, we were not busy. A lot of people didn't show up for their appointments. Hopefully tomorrow will be the same. I can't count on it though.
By the way, my blog is not really contraversial. I bought that warning thinking I could change what it said. I just wanted to put something warning about the content. You know, in case I talk about sex or put in the word "fuck". Is there any way to change what it says? I think it looks stupid right now. And why in the hell does it take all freakin' day for my blog to load? I don't have THAT many pictures on here. Whatever.
I think I'm going to go read my Star magazines and get caught up on gossip. One of the girls I work with has a subscription to it and always brings them in for me when she's done with them. I just like looking at the pictures.
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| Great Time |
| 02.16.04 (4:44 pm) |
Roscoe and I had a great time last night. We checked in to the Hilton, we were on the special floor where you have to use a key in the elevator to get there. Hehe. We went to the lounge for the free appetizers and half price drinks then we decided to go down to the bar. We each had a few drinks and were tipsy. We walked over to the Easton mall and couldn't decide what to do so we went to Virgin Records and I bought a Madonna cd I didn't have, the Truth or Dare DVD and There's Something About Mary DVD (I love that movie.) Then we went to a bar/restaurant to have dinner. Roscoe was drunk. It was so funny. He had me laughing so bad it hurt. After we ate we went back to the Hilton and had sex, which by the way I learned never to have sex with him when he's drunk again. It sucked!!!!! (Sorry Roscoe.) Then we went to sleep. We got up around 9, had our complementary breakfast and came home. We needed that.
I don't think I've ever seen him that drunk before. He couldn't even push the button in the elevator. He was doing magic tricks for the bartender and our waitress. He's a trip.
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| 7 Years |
| 02.15.04 (7:24 am) |
Today is my 7 year anniversary. I hope today is better than yesterday. Yesterday sucked. Roscoe was gone most of the day, Andre was in a bad mood and I had horrible cramps. I did the dishes, laundry, mopped the dining room floor, swept the kitchen floor...We bought The Lion King 1 1/2 and watched it last night. I should have known better with it being a sequel and all. I'm a big Disney fanatic. For some reason I thought this one might be cute. It was so hard to sit through. Even Andre kept saying it was boring.
We finally found a babysitter, at the last minute. Andre is going to spend the night with his friend tonight, and they're going to go skating tomorrow. I am so looking forward to tonight. Roscoe and I really need a night away.
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| Times Have Changed |
| 02.14.04 (11:20 am) |
*Ladies of days gone by: If a lady accidentally over-salts a dish while it's still cooking, she drops in a peeled potato and it absorbs the excess salt for an instant "fix-me-up." * Women of today: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes."
* Ladies of days gone by: Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away. *Women of today: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink. You might still have the headache, but who cares?
*Ladies of days gone by: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips. * Women of today: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You are probably lying on the couch, with your feet up, eating it anyway.
*Ladies of days gone by: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes. * Women of today: Buy boxed mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
*Ladies of days gone by: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake. * Women of today: Go to the bakery-they'll even decorate it for you.
*Ladies of days gone by: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish. *Women of today: Sara Lee frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I just don't do it.
*Ladies of days gone by: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy. * Women of today: Go ask the very cute neighbor guy to do it.
And finally the most important tip....Ladies of days gone by: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces. Women of today:Leftover wine??
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| Evil Cat |
| 02.14.04 (9:27 am) |
For some unknown reason, this cat has always been scared of that plastic wrap that fresh flowers come in. My mom stopped by today and gave us some flowers and of course, my cat freaked out. I couldn't resist, I HAD to take her picture. She was hissing at me. LOL.
Picture moved to My Photo Blog
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| Happy Valentines Day |
| 02.13.04 (8:56 pm) |
Well, it's not officially Valentines Day for another 10 minutes, but I'm planning on going to bed in a few minutes. I just took my last 2 anxiety pills and I'm about to fall over.
I gave Andre his Valentines present early. I gave him a Now 14 cd, Yu Gi Oh cards and some candy. He was thrilled. Tonight was the first time we've had to tell him to turn his music down. Yikes. It was also the first time I ever heard the song "Right Thurr." I must be getting old. I need to get with it.
Yep, I'm going to bed. I can barely type anything.
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| Lazy |
| 02.13.04 (1:38 pm) |
What an uneventful day. My instructor called this morning, but he had to appear in court so we couldn't do brunch. Maybe next week. I went to my moms and helped her shampoo the carpets and clean cupboards, than came home. How boring is that? I did figure out why my printer was printing crappy pictures that I took with my new camera. I was using a crappy program. It was photo suite 4 or something like that. For some reason, if I enhanced my photos it would save them very pixelated and print crappy. Now that I figured it out, I'm printing some really nice photos. You can't tell they're digital. Sweet. Now I just need to go on vacation and try it out.
Maybe if I have some time tonight I'll play around with my psp and animation shop and make something cool.
We still don't have definate plans for our anniversary yet. Just a vague idea of what we may want to do. Don't men care about anniversaries?
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| A Blast From the Past |
| 02.12.04 (7:18 pm) |
Wow. My forensics instructor from college called me tonight. He offered to take me out to brunch tomorrow. It will be nice to see him. It's going to be nice to talk forensics again. I really miss that. He said that my other instructor's mom passed away today. That's really sad. I bet he's torn up. I should call him or send a card. After brunch, I'm going to my mom's to help her get her house ready for the home visit. She really wants custody of my nephew.
I think Roscoe and I finally decided what to do for our anniversary. Well, kind of. We're going to go to Easton for dinner and shopping, maybe catch a movie and maybe stay at a hotel there. That sounds nice. It's going to be so hard though since it's Valentines weekend. Hopefully we'll be able to find something since it's on Sunday.
Andre gets to stay after school for an NBA (No Bad Attitudes) party. The kids who don't get in trouble in class get special parties. I think that's a great incentive. He's a good kid and has been trying much harder in school. He really deserves it. I'm proud of him.
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| Crappy Day |
| 02.11.04 (5:28 pm) |
I'm in a real pissy mood today. I know it's from PMS. If there ever was a day that I would call off work for no reason, today should have been it! I was driving to work and had to turn left. There was an accident on the road I had to tun onto, in the other lane. But traffic was so backed up and nobody was letting me out. Finally, when I got my chance and I'm getting ready to go, the car next to me who was going to turn right decided they wanted to go left and pulled out in front of me. So, I honked and then I tail-gated them all the way to work. I was late. After I got there, my father in law bit my head off twice for stupid things. First, he said he needed something to work on a patient and I didn't hear him so I got yelled at for that. Then, I went to the bathroom and he was yelling for me. I was almost in tears and I had to call Roscoe just to hear his voice. My lunch was cold, uncooked and gross. In the afternoons we get so busy and it didn't help that my father in law sat there and argued with one patients mother about evolution and DNA, then argued with another mother about the Adkins diet. We were 35 minutes behind. I finally got fed up and left. Thank God I'm home now. Thank God I don't have to go back until Tuesday. My feet hurt, I'm bloated and cramped and just plain pissy. I swear I would not be able to take this job if I worked more than 2 to 3 days a week, 3 weeks a month. That and the awesome perks.
Enough about that. My anniversary is Sunday and I have no idea what we're going to do. We're so poor right now. I'd almost rather stay home and cook a nice dinner or something. I don't want to go out all bloated. Andre said he's spending the night with his friend Sunday. That would be nice.
Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow!!
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| Don't Make Me Go!! |
| 02.11.04 (3:50 am) |
I really don't feel like going to work today. I just worked two 10 hour days and I'm worn out. I just want to crawl back into my nice warm, comfy bed and sleep till noon. Wouldn't that be nice?
I had some weird dreams. I dreamed that I cut the top of my hair so I had a mullet. That's enough to wake someone up in a cold sweat. Then I dreamed that Roscoe was taking Andre and me to Disney World, but I found out I was pregnant. Yikes. I'm glad it was just a dream.
I have about 15 more minutes before I have to start getting ready for work. I hope the day goes fast. Yesterday dragged on forever. I hate that. Today we have to wear our teal scrubs and let me tell ya, red hair and teal DO NOT go well together.
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| Switching Over |
| 02.10.04 (6:50 pm) |
I think I've finally decided to switch blog servers. This one's so much easier than the one I've been with. Hmmm, we'll see.
Andre's guinea pig died yesterday. Weird. He had 2, one died Saturday and the other died yesterday. I hate to say this, but all I can think is "Thank God I don't have to clean out that freakin' cage anymore." He HAD to have those things but then never played with them or anything. I was the one who had to feed them and clean the cage. Oh well, they're gone now. Andre wasn't too upset about it.
I worked a 10 hour day yesterday, today and I have another one tomorrow. But then I'm off until next Tuesday. My 7 year anniversary is Sunday. Not to be confused OR combined with Valentines Day. I refused to get married on Valentines Day. It just seemed too corney to me. :roll:
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